is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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