My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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