Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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