It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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