Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
