So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
