Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize