"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i love accidental penises.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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