i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
A bitchslap is in order.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
