That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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