what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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