If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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