Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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