Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're making bets on your personal life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
