If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
