What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
