I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
