Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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