So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
