he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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