I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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