Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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