i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
