I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
