doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
