i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
being pregnant is like rehab
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
