I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize