whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
