we have officially lost it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
