Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
