I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
