I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
