Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
