I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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