It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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