that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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