A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You can't special order awesome
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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