So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
50% drunk capacity currently
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
