His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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