is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
