the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
