the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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