I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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