...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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