Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
