mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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