New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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