Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
