if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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