i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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