Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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