Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
