Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
