I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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