your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Boobs speak an international language.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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