Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
