Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
