ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
